State Radio!

Thursday:
1. We begin tonight with a true American tragedy:

Is it bad if this makes me laugh? A lot?

2. Today I had my last webinar/conference call for Birthright training. Hurray!

3. Watching the "Pink Gloves" video over and over (and over...and over...) has suddenly reminded me of a different video, one that I spent much of the spring of 2008 watching with Tali Berkowitz and Sarah Beth Lopatin on the floor of my bedroom. You guessed it, ladies. It's...


It's a relig parody of the seriously misogynistic "Rotzeh Banot" ("I Want Girls"), called "Rotzeh Mitzvot" ("I Want Commandments"), by dati comedian Yair Orbach. Bonus: he lived on Kibbutz Sa'ad (where I spent half of my year in Israel before college) while he was in school.

Here's my super-rough translation of the lyrics (let me preface this by saying, the humor doesn't really translate. I tried.):
I want commandments,
I want to say 100 blessings in a day,
The blessing over miscellanous food, the blessing after using the restroom, and the blessing over grains,
And I don't mind praying 3 times a day,
Because all I want to do is fulfill commandments.

At Roladin,
Sitting on a blind date, playing it sensitive,
I keep the Sabbath, Kosher, and the laws prohibiting contact between genders,
Lucky for me, she looks like trouble,
Because I get to say the blessing over unique creatures.

Suddenly I notice a nice pair of guys,
Maybe we can say the blessing after meals together?
They even have skullcaps - it's perfect!
..they're religious, but Muslim.

(Ready for takeoff...Are you ready?)

Take a look at me, I'm a religious guy who's pressed for time,
No love story is going to come out of this date,
This day is over in a few minutes,
I'm stressed because I've only said 80 blessings.

"Listen, sweetie, I'm just not that into this,
And I'm running outside to find a quorum to pray with"
We're missing one, there's only nine guys...
...How lucky that God also created secular guys.

I want commandments,
I want to say 100 blessings in a day,
The blessing over miscellanous food, the blessing after using the restroom, and the blessing over grains,
And I don't mind praying 3 times a day,
Because all I want to do is fulfill commandments.

I want commandments,
I want to say 100 blessings in a day,
The blessing over miscellanous food, the blessing after using the restroom, and the blessing over grains,
And it doesn't bother me if sometimes I miss,
Because I've already set up 3 engaged couples.

4. My students told me they bought a deep fryer for the pre-Chanukkah extravaganza. They kind of lied (it's an electric skillet with a LOT of room for oil), but it still looked pretty cool.


5. My evening activity (which I'm saving for last), led me to two other reasons. First, it allowed me to tell two of my best stories: the time I went backstage at a Bob Weir/Ratdog concert (thanks, Nina Zoe), and the time I was pulled over in Habersham County, Georgia, by a pair of fake state troopers (I told you it was a good one).

6. Second bonus reason: one of the opening acts. I wish I could share a picture, but the truth is I'm not sure which of the two opening bands it was (we were only there for one). The remarkable thing was not their talent, but their appearance: each of the four members looked radically different, to the point where it seemed as though they belonged in different bands. I even assigned them characters in my head - Joey Fatone, Joe Jonas, Donald Fagen (of Steely Dan), and the eco-terrorist. It was bizarre.

7. State Radio! For the uninitated, State Radio is a band comprised of Chad Stokes Urmston, Chuck Fay, and Mike Najarian. Many people (myself included) know them because Chad Stokes was previously a member of Dispatch. Long story short, it was a GREAT show, and the first night in Gainesville where I've felt like I have a life, independent of my work and students (Okay, so I went with two students, but before they were my students they were my campers, and then they were on my staff this summer. It totally doesn't count.).

I wish the pictures had come out better, but it is what it is. The show looked a bit like this:





Bonus: If you go to State Radio's website, you can get a free download of "Knights of Bostonia," which, while not reminiscent of much of their other music, is my current happy song.